The Other Thing about The Other One

One subject I like to pretend I know something about is law. I don’t really know much at all, but that doesn’t stop me from expressing all sorts of legal opinions. Another subject I know next to nothing about is marriage. Despite decades of practice I am probably too ignorant about the subject to even know how little I know. Still, since as of now my current wife seems to regard me favorably I can puff out my chest and act like an expert… for now at least.

One blog I like to take a look at occasionally is Zen Habits. A recent guest post there by Dr. Corey Allan of The Simple Marriage Project caught my eye. In it he expresses something I’d always suspected myself:

When you get right down to it, communication in marriage is not about being understood by each other, communication is about handling what another person thinks and feels. You see, married couples don’t have trouble communicating. They communicate all too well. […]

Communication problems happen because you don’t like what the other person has to say.

He goes on to give simple but sound advice on honest communication with your spouse and perhaps more importantly, with yourself.

Another thing I’ve learned about marriage: It’s worth the effort to try to get it right.