Underneath it All

Dirty Little Secret
photo by kirainet
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.
– Woody Allen

Ten days ago I shopped for and purchased some new underwear. Normally that’s not an event worth noting, of course. But this time was different. This time it mattered. But, wait. No, I can’t keep you in suspense any longer. I have to tell you about it.

When I bought underwear in the past I went to a discount store and bought a huge pack of cheap skivvies. Of course I bought the colored pairs to hide the stains. I’m not stupid.

But this time I treated myself. This time I went all out. This time I had a discount coupon for a major Department Store.

When I got to the store I walked clear past the 6-to-a-bag shelves and up to the stuff on hangers. That’s right. Underwear so extraordinary each pair it hoisted up on a rack by it’s own hanger cialis gel. That’s what I’m talking about. The good stuff.

I checked the price and choked. Goodness my precious they were proud of those bvd’s. Still, I was determined. And equipped with that coupon.

I didn’t bother trying them on at the store. I know my size. I don’t like it, but I know it. Kinda like my age. Too big a number.

I negotiated with the clerk and we settled on me paying the asking price minus the coupon. Once home I tried on one of the sharper sets and was releaved I hadn’t gained any weight recently. Good for me.Watch Full Movie Online Streaming Online and Download

I modeled them for my wife. She was overcome with lust and wanted to do it right there in the hallway. Did I just say that?

Now, just ten days later, I look back on the change with amazement. I hardly noticed it at first, but gradually and smartly my world has improved.

Birds sing a little more sweetly. Cornbread tastes a little bit better. The sun shines more, and people look at me with more respect. That’s right. Down deep I’m now a man to be reckoned with, and it shows. I may be wearing the same cargo shorts on top, but underneath it all I’ve got it going on. Now I’m not just sliding through life, I am “IT” sweetie.

This morning I was running some numbers on my calculator and I estimate this change in undergarments has resulted in a 32.7% improvement in my quality of life. I know it’s hard to believe, but those are the numbers: 32.7%. In ten days!

I’m both thrilled to have discovered this addition to my life, and sad it took so long. What really haunts me is realizing that women have evidently know this for years. Women know the importance of good underwear. I’m convinced of that. But however late to the party, this dumb male has finally stumbled onto this little secret and figured it all out his self. That’s right baby. I’ve arrived!